i found a song that realli kinda suits how i feel bout others now...

Many Men (Wish Death) - 50 Cent

Many men, wish death upon me
Blood in my eye dawg and I can't see
I'm trying to be what I'm destined to be
And niggaz trying to take my life away
I put a hole in nigga for fucking with me
My back on the wall, now you gon' see
Better watch how you talk, when you talk about me
Cause I'll come and take your life away

Many men, many, many, many, many men
Wish death 'pon me
Lord I don't cry no more
Don't look to the sky no more
Have mercy on me

[Verse One]
Now these pussy niggaz putting money on my head
Go on and get your refund motherfucker, I ain't dead
I'm the diamond in the dirt, that ain't been found
I'm the underground king and I ain't been crowned
When I rhyme, something special happen every time
I'm the greatest, something like Ali in his prime
I walk the block with the bundles
I've been knocked on the humble
Swing the ox when I rumble
Show your ass what my gun do
Got a temper nigga, go'head, lose your head
Turn your back on me, get clapped and lose your legs
I walk around gun on waist, chip on my shoulder
Till I bust a clip in your face, pussy, this beef ain't over

[Chorus - singing]
Many men, many, many, many, many men
Wish death 'pon me
Lord I don't cry no more
Don't look to the sky no more
Have mercy on me
Have mercy on my soul
Somewhere my heart turned cold
Have mercy on many men
Many, many, many, many men
Wish death upon me

[Verse Two]
Some days wouldn't be special, if it wasn't for rain
Joy wouldn't feel so good, if it wasn't for pain
Death gotta be easy, 'cause life is hard
It'll leave you physically, mentally, and emotionally scarred
This if for my niggaz on the block, twisting trees and cigars
For the niggaz on lock, doing life behind bars
I don't see only god can judge me, 'cause I see things clear
Quick these crackers will give my black ass a hundred years
I'm like Paulie in Goodfellas, you can call me the Don
Like Malcolm by any means, with my gun in my palm
Slim switched sides on me, let niggaz ride on me
I thought we was cool, why you want me to die homie?

[Chorus]

[Verse Three]
Every night I talk to god, but he don't say nothing back
I know he protecting me, but I still stay with my gat
In my nightmares, niggaz keep pulling techs on me
Psych says some bitch dumb, put a hex on me
The feds didn't know much, when Pac got shot
I got a kite from the pens that told me, Tuck got knocked
I ain't gonna spell it out for you motherfuckers all the time
Are you illiterate nigga? You can't read between the lines
In the bible it says, what goes around, comes around
Almost shot me, three weeks later he got shot down
Now it's clear that I'm here, for a real reason
'Cause he got hit like I got hit, but he ain't fucking breathing

[Chorus]

get the picture now?

this is the 3rd post i'm postin this mornin', haha. it's 3.36am nw on my comp. clock.
it's nt too late to make a resolution list rite ?
haha. i'm gonna be quite diff. i will try to use those words with 're' to complete ma 're'solution list.
haha. here goes nuthin' =)))))))))

new year's:

-'re'creation:hmm...to use the gym more often, i realli nid to slim dwn. haha. yeah, slim dwn by 30 kilos. lol. i'm currently weighing a hefty 108 kilos!!!! oh my!!!! haha.
at the same time, build up those biceps. hahahaha. =)

-'re'striction:to refrain frm usin the comp. too much. i'm taking ma 'o's this year. i would be at wit's end if i mess it up. my parents aim me to get into a freakin' JC. muz realli buck up n be a gd boy who does his hmwk n revision. esp. Maths =)

-'re'minder:buck up on ma studies n keep on losing those fats. haha. =)

-'re'pent:was quite lazy last year, n now, i'm partially screwed. feels like i muz take ma txt bk where ever i go. =(

-'re'solution:to achieve what i had wanted in ths list, n change ma attitude for the better!!!!!!!!!!! =)

that's abt all of the minimum i could ask maself for in the year 2007.
ha.

was kinda bored n cant seem to slp, so i tot of entertaining maself. haha. cool huh. lol.
aniwae, CRAPPI NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
haha. its now 2007!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!